No Photos No Autographs


No Photos No Autographs This is the side of fame that the world can't show you.


Slowest death in life is living

So after the fall of my empire. I’m back where I started alone on a Sunday night. The smell of the rain coming in from a window fan. The TV is off, the cable is on, the thrill of music is gone. What now is coming to the summers end & friends short love is gone once again. I’ll die slow & bleed my words thru a songs on killing myself w/ a soundtrack. Acting like nothing is on my mind is the song I sing. It hurts more than not & I give more than I got. There is no return on time, there is no me, I’m more like a number than a name, A burden than a person. How do I look in the mirror & see a man? What I see is a boy domed from the start. Fame, Power & Money but love was the only prize I wanted. I had it, lost it & use it. But nothing is stronger than this sinking drowning black hole of waking up tomorrow. If I could throw up my heart I would donate it. If I could share what’s on my mind I would waste it. But who cares! We live in a world today w/ bigger problems. War, hunger & people like me the nothingness that waits their demise. Maybe I should try harder to be something more productive. You know go back to school, get a degree, learn a new language. Do something other than playing video games, music & looking for the next level. Yeah, & get a Job so I can advance in life & keep on being the man I always wanted. But I don’t know what I want any more & everyday, second, minute, week, month, year, There’s no revelation. I believe in God, I just don’t want to believe alone & at the same time to each God his own. I’m stuck as the kid w/ the dreams of ruling the world. But in my world I’m not worth shit, you can say I’m having one of “THO’S DAYZ” but days add up. & I’m my own worst enemy, my only best friend. I’m not saying nobody loves me, I just can’t accept it. If you knew how many nights I cried & now I feel nothing but a Slow death. I created this monster inside of me. It’s different now & forever. I can’t get shit back, I lost the key & I’m losing in general. Yeah one day i’ll smile but it only for the pictures not for myself. Please don’t kill me the pain of life is torture enough. & Please don’t read this too seriously I’m in a moment.  (plus I can always erase this like my feelings) Good bye 2nd to last summer on earth. 

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